Freedom Eternity

Thoughts...

2006-02-27T02:38:00.000-08:00

You know, whenever i think of when the world will come to an end, or WHEN it does, and when will i die or WHEN i die, I get scared.

So scared that i feel like hiding myself in a shell and closing myself off from the rest of the world. To just freeze time and let it stay that way forever. But then, doing that will be the same as dieing. The thought of sleeping eternally, never waking up, our consciousness lost forever drowned in the dark abyss and obliviated; is just so frightening. But to have your consciousness with you, and to remain in the world, either this or the other, for eternity, is even more frightening.

'For Eternity' This 2 words though seems so small and insignificant, like any other words, are the ones that cause the most impact. It may be hard to imagine for most, even hearing it or reading it, some may not fathom the whole meaning and the feeling it evokes. I think i remember hearing this from somewhere, that nothing is eternal only death itself.

Some believe in reincarnation, others believe in Heaven and Hell. But even so, even if we are reincarnated and have another life on Earth, or ascend to the other world, or just sleep forever never waking up, all of it is 'Eternal'.
It wont ever end. All stories must have endings, all journeys must come to an end, all beginnings must come to an end. But our lives, our stories, our journeys, and our beginnings only end temporarily but are renewed and we start over.

This may seem like nonsensical rambling of a guy who has no life, a loser....
lol yeah you may be right. I admit maybe i am a loser, a guy who has no life. But i'm desperately clinging on to hope. To life. I have thoughts about my life. How it sucks so bad. I learned the depth of loneliness. I envied others. I constantly dreamed everyday to be someone everyone admires. To be popular with the girls and the guys but especially the girls. So i gradually sunk deeper and deeper into my sorrow. The loneliness slowly engulfed my entire self. And my heart was slowly consumed with sadness. Needless to say i shut off myself from the rest of the world.

For 3 whole years i closed myself off. I was afraid of what others may think of me. So much so that i couldnt even have a decent conversation with anyone. There were some times that i felt hope, so close, so near that i could almost grasp it and embrace it forever, to let it shine its ray of light on me. I could talk again and communicate to people. To laugh with someon else together. I was so happy. But that feeling of wanting to look good in someone else's mind; Afraid that i'd look bad; Afraid that they wouldnt like me, it stayed behind. I thought that i was cured but it stayed behind like a disease that was impossible to cure.

And then the light slowly faded into darkness and i was left all alone again. Swallowed in despair. But then what kept me going was through each day was my family, my friends. I still had friends that cared about me. I was somtimes close to them, able to talk to them, but sometimes i was distant from them, not my physical being, but my mind. And it was always awkward. But still we were friends and we were together. The care and concern and also the love from everyove that i had was the fuel that enabled me to go on through each day.

Suicide? That thought never crossed my mind at all. My situatuion wasnt as bad as some others who were unfortunate to not have anyone at all to support them. And i also happen to think that life is just too precious to just throw away. I realized that you have to stop, look around you and see what you have, what God has give you and treasure those things. Dont focus on things that you dont have, focus on the things that you DO have and gradually you'll have even more things that are precious.

People may say, dont care about what others may think. I heard that before but still i cared alot about what others think. I was skeptical. I was afriad of what others may think so i didnt act natural thats why i didnt attract anyone to me.
If you just be yourself, and dont take too hard about what others may think of you, then you will be happy.

Of course you're bound to face situations where people will say bad things about you, when you'll feel small and embarassed due to what others say or do. But no matter what dont let those words hurt your heart. Its just words. People may laugh at you. But who cares. Just let your positive side outshine your negative side. And you'll be happier. Sticks and stones may break you bones but words can never hurt. If someone does or says something to you that may sound hurtful, either ignore, say something funny or smart either about yourself or about the person who said it, or just beat the crap outta that asshole.
Or you could throw stones at him and beat him with a stick! ^^

Well thats about it for now. I did want to say more wise things......but i guess its enough...i'm not even sure if you guys who're reading this may even think its wisdom that i'm imparting.....=.=
But still! That is what i wanna say!
There are some days when things dont go your way or when bad things happen. Just forget about it. Pick yourself up, look to the future and move forward!

"With your own 2 feet, move forward!" I think that's how it goes.
Edward Elric from Full Metal Alchemist said that.

Well i also wanna say that i dont sound as bad as i make myself to be when i said what i said just now. I'm really better off. I have good friends. Even if i am an asshole sometimes and take advantage of them or hurt some people. I still have good friends. I dont wanna do something or say something bad to someone cos i dont want that to happen to me. Remember that!

So just spend your days being happy rather than being sad cos life is short. But death is eternal. But well if you're reincarnated then death wouldnt be eternal would it? ^^T
EheHeHeHe =.=

And also! Love is unlimited so dont be selfish with it! Share your love with everyone even if they dont give back and always support peace cos war is bad!
Well war is kinda cool....but only in games!!
So like Vash says! LoOoOoOoVe AnD PeEeEaAaCe!!! ^^\/

Introductio!!

2006-02-26T06:29:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. Wassup? You know i've always thought that blogging is gay.
LOLX but then i'm as bored as hell cos i just finished my O'levels and now i'm waiting for the days when i'm a student of either Temasek or Ngee Ann poly.
I failed my maths so the only course i can go in poly is
"Early Childhood Education." Yaay i'm gonna be a kindergarden teacher!
Hey but some kindergarden teachers are hot arent they? So maybe i'm gonna be a 'Hot kindergarden teacher.' But ummm i'm a male so.....well you dont really hear many or maybe you dont hear at all any hot male kindergarden teacher....
THATS COS THEY DONT WANNA BE A KINDERGARDEN TEACHER!!!
But i will make the most with what I have and strive for better!
Hmmm but why am I talking to myself?! I really sound like i am....and thats gay. Omg! I'm becoming gay!! ...... ......... .......... ............
That is what happens when you cant find any ps2 games or when you nid a new hard disk so i can play World Of Warcraft!!! Chikushou!! >.<

Well anyways i am 17, a capricorn, a snake just like AYAME!
I'm pretty cool.....not......I"m kinda of handsome guy too......not......
and i'll admit i'm also a little bit of a casanova......totally not!
Okie the intro is done and now i have to bid adieu!

Sayooonaraaaa Oyaaasuuumiiiii Mattaaa Ashitaaaaa
Soreeee janeeeeee

Kira and Pizza Hut

2006-02-24T05:33:00.000-08:00

This is a Gundam Seed Fanfic!
Its a comedy/parody so its gonna be a little wacky or stupid but still....just forget all else and read and i hope you enjoy it!
Get down! Get low! Hey yo!
Oh yeah i don't own Gundam Seed or the charachters its just a fanfiction.

"Oh man....I dont wanna work in Pizza Hut anymore.....its tiring."Kira dragged his feet all the way to his favourite Chair and when he finally reached it, slumped down on it.

"I thought I could gain valuable job experience but the only experience I get is making pasta. Hell, i could learn how to make pasta from big momma! How am i gonna survive the real world with only a job experience in making lasagna?!"

Exclaimed Kira angrily.

"Hey Kira quit your whining. If you didnt want the job then why take it in the first place?" Athrun said sitting down on the floor in front of Kira.

"Because Cagalli and you CHOSE to work in Pizza Hut! I didnt have any choice you know? I didnt wanna be alone." Kira replied dewy-eyed and looked as if he was about to cry. But a split-second later his expression changed to an angry one.

"Anyways, of all places you chose Pizza Hut! What are you some kinda retard? We're coordinators! We're smarter than this! Can you imagine coordinators whose brains are the size of watermelon putting cheese on flat, circle bread and saying 'Mammamia a this is a gooda pizza' in a fake italian accent? Sheeesh...."

Kira stopped and stared hard at the floor, deep in thoughts.

"I.....I dont want to make pasta anymore. I-I dont want to suffer anymore...."

"Kira!! Dont tell me.....you're thinking of quitting? Just like that?" Athrun said in surprise.

"Yes! I wanna quit!!" The burning look of determination in Kira's eyes

(Well determined to quit anyways. He's gonna have a hard time dealing with Athrun)

Athrun looked away from Kira, dissappointment painted all over his face.

"You....I-I thought we could work there together. I thought it'll be good hard work yet fun at the same time.

But i guess you're just-not-tough-enough-to-make STINKIN PIZZAS!!"

He shouted at Kira.

Kira was taken aback by Athrun's sudden hissy fit. But he didnt want to lose this battle of words. "W-what about you then?! I thought you hated cheese?

You said you have cheeshiokaldalyptius or whatever that is."

"I do!" Athrun said

"And the symptoms are that first, you'll have brown farts which means farts that also eject vapour poopoos; And then your underwear would turn brown.

Lacus told me that she almost fainted when she saw your underwear before dumping them inside the washing machine. Actually she almost fainted when she went near the basket of laundry.

Next you'll have the runs and be passing buckets full of liquified poopoos till kingdom comes. And there'll always be that dark mark AND dark smell left in the toilet for weeks. I had to buy 10 bottles of air freshner!

The last part is that your ass will feel like its being barbequed for days."

"Hey, how do you know so much?" Athrun asked full of suspicion.

"You told me yourself you smelly asshole. And in that i meant both you AND your asshole."

"Shut up asshole." Athrun said growled.

"Well? So what do you have to say for yourself?" Kira asked looking superior-like.

"I'm not gonna eat those Pizzas for crying out loud. I'm just gonna work there.

"Almost everything there is associated with cheese! What else are you gonna eat?!"

Kira and Athrun argued like little children.

Then suddenly they stopped and stared intently into each other's eyes. You could see the sparks where their invisible laser eye beam collided. BzZzt!

"Kira Yamato...." Athrun said

"Athrun Zala...." Kira said.

Just then Cagalli entered the room. "Hey! What's up guys?"

Then she saw Kira and Athrun still staring at each other as if they were best friends who were seperated but then got reunited as enemies because of war and both of them were piloting a Gundam.

"Ummm is something wrong?" Cagalli asked feeling a little worried.

"Kira says he's quitting the Pizza Hut job." Athrun said to Cagalli still staring at Kira.

"What?! Why? The job's ok.....the pay's good too!" Cagalli said shocked.

"I just dont feel satisfied working in Pizza Hut. There are better jobs with better pays! We have so much more potential and we had to choose Pizza Hut. Why?!

Why do we waste our precious sweet teenage days making Pizzas and Pasta?!

Why cant we do other things? I-I wanna do something that i believe in.

Just like Lacus said!" Kira said those words as if he were forced to fight in a Gundam to Protect his friends but doesnt like killing people.

Cagalli rushed towards Kira and grabbed his collar with tears in her eyes, she said "Quitting just because its tough and making sorry excuses later......will that really help you?! Are you just a wimp?!"

"Sniff...she said those words to me too....Sniff...bravo Cagalli! Bravo! You changed my life with those words." Athrun cried senselessly.

"Hmph! Someone who doesnt know anything shouldn't talk so much!!!" An anonymous voice was suddenly heard.

"Huh? Who's there?" Cagalli asked looking for the speaker.

"Behind you....."

Cagalli looked behind and was freaked out by what she was because it was a ghost of a boy a little younger than her.

"You! You killed my family and me!! You bitch! You put some weird shit into your Pizza and it killed my family!!! How the hell do you make those pizzas?!"

"Huh?" Cagalli was speecheless and in shock. She had put her heart and soul into making the pizzas. To even think that her pizzas killed someone.... let alone a whole family......she felt like a murderer and a failure.

"M-My father used to always make pizza for me. I really loved those pizzas. He always said to put sugar, spice and everything nice in the pizza because that's what superheroes are made of."

"WTF?!! Those are the powerpuff girls!! Your dad loves to watch the powerpuff girls?! Is he some kinda sissy bitch?" Shinn said going on a Godzilla rampage throwing all the stuff around the room and turning the lights on and off.

"The pizzas were so delicious. I loved them so much! It made me feel so high. I just wanted to share this feeling with everyone..."

"You psychotic bitch......WHO THE HELL WOULD LOVE PIZZA WITH SUGAR?!! And WHO THE HELL WOULD FEEL HIGH EATING THOSE KINDA PIZZAS?!?" Shinn went into even more of a rampage and possessed Kira's body.

"Holy Shit!! KIRA!!!" Athrun cried out.

"My father put some special candies inside the pizzas he made.....I never found what candy it was but it always made me high."

"Those DRUGS U DUMB BITCH! DEN WHAT THE HELL DID YOU PUT IN MY PIZZA?!"

"Ummm I don’t wanna say anything else. I know my rights. I want my lawyer."

"WTF?! You don’t need no stinking lawyer!! I’m dead!!! And its your fault!!!! Did you even think about the people that would die eating your pizzas?!! How the hell did you even get hired?!!"

"So sue me....."Cagalli said nonchalantly

"You...." Shinn, possessing Kira's body lunged at Cagalli but Athrun pushed Cagalli away in the nick of time causing Shinn to miss his target.

"SHINN!!!" Athrun shouted.

"Shut up! Your pizza sucks too.....You're just like her!.....A loser....Pathetic....." Shinn sneered at Athrun. "Working at pizza hut already proves it. Who the hell would choose to work at pizza hut anyway? You're a retard and a moron you know that?"

"SHINN!!!" Athrun shouted again.

"Hah! that’s right you're a coward too. You wouldnt dare kick my ass cos you know i'm better than you! I'll kick your ass instead!!"

"You...." Athrun charged at Shinn and did a super karate chop X. Shinn tried to block but Athrun was too powerful and Shinn's hands were broken. Shinn tried to counter with a kick but Athrun was too fast for him and responded with a kick and the 2 legs collided resulting in Shinn's leg getting broken due to Athrun's strength.

Athrun then, pulled his right hand back as if he was charging his energy for a super punch then when the light flashed, he threw the super duper punch at Shinn's right jaw. The force of his punch caused Shinn to fall 5 feet away crashing into a wall and smashing the wall apart.

"You never learn...." Athrun said coolly.

"Owwwww......" Kira groaned in pain.

"Oh my god! KIRA!!!" Athrun screamed.

"Damn.....Damn pizza hut! Damn Shinn!!! Damn the both of them to hell!!!" Kira screamed.

The End